Welcome to dating service for singles!
Our website offers new opportunities for those who is in search for his date all over the world!
Q: How do you tell if your girlfriend is ticklish?
A: Give her a couple "test-tickles".
Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?
A: Because when the dragged them by the feet, they filled up with dirt.
Q: What comes out of an erect penis?
A: Wrinkles!
Q: Did you hear about the new edition of Playboy for married men?
A: It has the same centerfold every month.
Q: Did you hear about the girl with tits on her back?
A: She wasn't much to look at but she was great to slow dance with.
Q: What is the difference between a circus and a chorus line?
A: The first is an array of cunning stunts.
Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A: Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"
Q: What do balloons and virgins have in common?
A: One prick and its gone.
Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?"
A: "Honey, I'm home."
Q: What's red and has 7 dents?
A: Snow White's cherry
Q: How do you make paper dolls?
A: Screw an old bag
Q: How can you tell which is the Head nurse?
A: She's the one with dirty knees
Q: What do you do when your kotex catches fire?
A: Throw it on the floor and tampon it
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob?
A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, eggs or meat; but you just can't
beat
a blowjob.
Q: What's the definition of a virgin?
A: An ugly third grader
Q: What do you call this? (Stick out tongue)
A: A lesbian with a hard-on
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
A: "Hold onto your nuts! This ain't gonna be no ordinary blowjob."
Q: What do you call a female clone?
A: A clunt.
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Q: What are the two greatest lies?
A: "The check is in the mail," and "I promise I won't cum in your mouth."
Q: What did Adam say to Eve?
A: "Stand back! I don't know how big this thing gets!"
Q: What's another reason God created the orgasm?
A: Because he couldn't wait for the second coming.
Q: Why is being a dick not all it's cracked up to be?
A: First of all you have a head but no brains; there's a couple of nuts
following you around all the time; your next door neighbor is an asshole
and you best friend is a cunt.
Q: What's the ultimate rejection?
A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman?
A: Inserting the anchovies.
Q: What do you do in case of fallout?
A: Put it back in and take shorter strokes.
Q: How can you tell when your girlfriend is ugly?
A: When she's having an artificial insemination, and the syringe goes limp!
Q: How do you make your wife scream after an orgasm?
A: Wipe your dick on the curtains.
Q: What's the difference between a cunt and a pussy?
A: A pussy is that nice warm thing you cuddle up to at night, a cunt is what
it
is attached to.
Q: When does a cubscout become a boyscout?
A: When he eats his first brownie.
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Cause it's no big deal unless your not getting any!
Q: What do they call a black man with a white penis?
A: A polish coal miner who's been home for lunch.
Q: What is the difference between a paycheck and a penis?
A: You can always find a girl who'll blow your paycheck for you.
Q: Did you hear about the girl who gave up bowling for sex?
A: The balls were lighter and she didn't have to change her shoes!
Q: What's better than having a rose on your piano?
A: Having Tulips on your organ.
Q: How are an oven and a woman alike?
A: You have to get them both hot before you stick the meat in.
Q: How can you tell when you've had a really good blowjob?
A: You have to pull the sheets out of your ass.
Q: What has 100 teeth and can hold back a huge monster?
A: My zipper.
Q: Do you know what a guy with a big 12 inch cock has for breakfast?
A: "Well let's see, this morning I had two eggs, toast, coffee..."
Q: How do you get rid of unwanted pubic hair?
A: "Pi'tew...spit...pi'tew...spit..."
Q: Why do women sky divers wear tampons?
A: So they won't whistle on the way down.
Q: Why do women have two holes on the bottom?
A: So when they get drunk at a party, you can carry them home like a
six-pack.
Q: What do you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through a 20 ft. garden
hose?
A: "Darling", "Sweetheart", "Precious", whatever it takes.
Q: How can you tell if a ballerina isn't wearing panties?
A: When she does a split and sticks to the floor.
Q: What is the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
Q: Why is being in the Army like a PG movie?
A: Too much violence and not enough sex.
Q: What is the difference between like and love?
A: Spit and swallow.
Q: How do you go about screwing a 400-pound woman?
A: Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
Q: How do you know when your girlfriend is too fat?
A: When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo
Q: How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
A: They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
Q: What do you call a shipment of vibrators?
A: "Toys for twats".
Q: Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any children?
A: Because, he only comes once a year and then it's down a chimney.
Q: What's the difference between masturbation and Basketball?
A: In Basketball, you dribble before you shoot.
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree, the other looks up the family bush!
Q: Why is eating pussy like dealing with the mafia?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
Q: What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out?
A: Chewing gum.
Q: Why do they address cars as "she"?
A: Because, just like your wife, on a cold morning when you really need it,
she won't turn over.
Q: Did you hear about the new designer condoms?
A: They're called "Sergio Prevente."
Q: What do you get when you cross LSD with birth control?
A: A trip without the kids.
Q: What's worse than lipstick on your collar?
A: Leg makeup on your ears.
Q: What's twelve inches long and white?
A: Nothing.
Q: What do you call Miss Piggy's douche?
A: "Hog wash!"
Q: What did Miss Piggy say when Gonzo called her?
A: "I can't talk right now - I've got a frog in my throat."
Q: What do you do in the event of fallout?
A: Put it back in and take shorter strokes.
Q: Why did God give women nipples?
A: To make suckers out of men.
Q: What do you call a pussy that takes messages for you?
A: An answering cervix.
Q: What do you give an eighty-year-old woman for her birthday?
A: Mikey...He'll eat anything.
Q: What do you call a woman who uses too much contraceptive foam?
A: A spermicidal maniac.
Q: Know what is the square root of 69?
A: Ate something.
Q: What is the speed limit of sex?
A: 68, at 69 you have to turn around!
Q: Why can women only go 68 mph on the highway?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Q: Why do women like to play PacMan?
A: It's the only way they know of to get eaten three times for a quarter.
Q: Why do men like to play Pinball?
A: It's the only way they can get five balls for a quarter.
Q: What are two things in the air that can make a woman pregnant?
A: Her legs.
Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball!
Q: What's the difference between trash and a sorority girl?
A: Trash sometimes gets picked up.
Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a Lamborghini?
A: Not everyone has been in a Lamborghini!
Q: What does a sorority girl do when she wakes up?
A: She goes home!
Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?
A: A toilet doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you use it!
Q: What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A: Tie them together, make it a tire, and call it a good year.
Q: Why do Valley Girls use two diaphragms?
A: "Fur Shur, Fur Shur."
Q: Why don't cowboys make good lovers?
A: Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 10 years the job still sucks!
Q: When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout?
A: When he eats his first Brownie.
Q: What do soy beans and vibrators have in common?
A: They're both meat substitutes.
Q: What do snow and sex have in common?
A: You never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it's going
to last.
Q: Why is lite beer like making love in a canoe?
A: Because they're both fuckin' close to water!
Q: How can you tell which man is the most popular in a nudist colony?
A: He's the one who can carry two cups of coffee and six doughnuts at the
same
time.
Q: How come Dr. Pepper comes in a bottle?
A: His wife died.
Q: How come prostitutes never vote?
A: They don't care who get's in.
Q: What do you call a hooker with no legs?
A: A "nightcrawler".
Q: What did the prostitute give her daughter for her birthday?
A: Everything west of Broadway.
Q: What do you call a hooker's kids?
A: Brothel sprouts.
Q: What do you get if you cross a whore and a computer?
A: A fucking know-it-all.
Q: What do peanut butter and hookers have in common?
A: They both spread for bread.
Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
A: You can't hear an enzyme.
