Q: What's the difference between death and taxes?
A: Congress can't make death any worse than it is.
Q: What is the similarity between hemorrhoids and cowboy hats?
A: Sooner or later, every asshole has one!
Q: What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A: "I don't know, and I don't care."
Q: Hear about the new television show about yuppies in Alaska?
A: It's called "WD-30something"
Q: How can you tell if a kid is a loser?
A: The kid is kidnapped, and they put his picture on a MILK DUDS carton.
Q: What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
A: They both go to Uranus to wipe out the cling-ons.
Q: What do 40 battered women have in common?
A: They don't listen.
Q: What's the difference between the Panama canal and Miss America?
A: The Panama canal is a busy ditch.
Q: Why don't U.S. senators ever use bookmarks?
A: They like their pages bent.
Q: What does a baby diaper and your boss have in common?
A: They are both all over your ass and usually full of shit!
Q: Have you heard about the Faggot Patch Dolls?
A: They come with A.I.D.S. and a death certificate.
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
A: They can't get the laboratory mice to butt fuck.
Q: What's the worst part about having AIDS?
A: Leaving your friends behind!
Q: Why did the minister get AIDS?
A: He didn't wash his organ between hims.
Q: What's the difference between mono and herpes?
A: You get mono from snatching a kiss.
Q: What do the initials in A.I.D.S. stand for?
A: Anally Inserted Death Sentence.
Q: How does herpes get out of the hospital?
A: On crotches.
Q: What does GAY stand for?
A: Got AIDS Yet?
Q: What's dangerous & eats nuts?
A: Syphilis.
Q: What's the difference between love and herpes?
A: Herpes lasts forever.