DatingRacer.com - dating service for singles: dates, romance, stories, advices.

This fellow wishes to join an exclusive African lion-hunters club. Actually,
the club's members consist entirely of aging Englishmen, who never do any
hunting, and whose only enjoyment comes when some silly sod wants to join. On
the night of the initiation, all of the members sit beneith the African sky
around three identical grass huts. The club's founder begins to speak: "To
become one of use, you must pass the test of the three huts. In the first
hut, there is a bottle of whiskey that must be consumed. In the second,
there is a Bengal tiger with a bad tooth that must be removed. In the third,
there is an amourous woman that must be satisfied." With only a lion's skin
to wear, the man marches into the first hut, and, after a minute of gulping
noises, comes staggering out and barely makes his way in to the second.
Within seconds, the hut begins shaking as fur flies in all directions, and
screams can be heard from both man and beast within. After another moment of
silence, the man emerges from the second hut, bleeding, and covered from
head-to-toe with thousand of scratches. He strains his eyes at the concerned
looking crowd of old men and asks "Now where's this woman with the bad tooth?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A couple are lying in bed one night when the husband turns to his wife and
begins to kiss her and stroke her skin. "Oh honey, I can't tonight," the
wife apologizes, "I have a gynocologist appointment tomorrow." The man turns
over a sulks for awhile. Suddenly, the man turns over and asks "Honey, you
don't happen to have a dentist appointment tomorrow, do you?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man goes to his doctor for his yearly checkup. The doctor instructs him to
give a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample. "Gee, I'm in kind
of a hurry Doc," the man says, "can I just leave a pair of my underwear?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This guy starts getting these headaches that progressively worsen until he
can't eat, sleep, or work. After an extensive examination, the doctor tells
him that they can cure the headaches, but that it will require an operation
where they remove both of his testicles. The man eventually realizes that he
simply can't continue with the headaches, so he reluctantly agrees. Upon
awaking after the operation, there is no trace of the headaches. He checks
out of the hospital, feeling like he has been reborn. In order to celebrate,
he decides to go into a fancy men's shop, and treat himself to the most expensive
imported suit they have. The old man in the shop, having gotten an idea of
what the man would like, starts off to find him a suit. "Wait," the man
says, "you don't even know my measurements yet." The old man explains that
he's been working in the garment industry all his life, and can tell a
person's measurements just by looking at him. To prove it, the old man
starts rattling off measurements - "33 waist, 32 inseam, 16 neck, 34 sleeve,
32 underwear." "Correct on everything but the underwear," the man says
admiringly, "I wear size 30." "No way," the old man says confidently, "32
underwear is definitely your size, I'm sure." "Look," the man says, a little
irritated, "I ought to know what size underwear I wear." The old man
interrupts him, yelling "IF YOU WORE SIZE 30 UNDERWEAR, YOU'D HAVE THE MOST
EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL HEADACHES!"